Character Development — How to Build a Relationship With Your Character
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Character development tips for creative writing –
create new interesting,
original and memorable characters…
or give established characters a breath of fresh air.
In past articles, I’ve talked about the importance of having a relationship with your character as well as the way to destroy a hard-earned connection to your creations. In this article, I want to focus on what you can do as an Author to establish this relationship with your characters. Just like with real people, you can’t dictate a successful relationship, but you can do things to improve or help cultivate one… just as you can do things that will help tear one apart.
Thought 1: Be Patient
As I noted before, relationships rarely happen overnight — be it with real people or with your characters. As an Author, you have to be patient and long-suffering, often to the point of thinking you’re NEVER going to get a response from your creations. But just like with real people, characters will pick a place and time of their own to open up and entrust you with new information. This may come after weeks of writing, roleplaying and developing… or in the case of my character, in months and years.
Some of my best characters have developed, quite slowly, over the span of numerous years. My oldest character will have been a part of my life for over 15 years soon… and he’s certainly not the same as the first concept pieces that I sketched back when I was younger.
Thought 2: Be Flexible
As time passes, you will also change alongside of your character… which means your relationship will alter, too. Just like with real people, you have to be flexible to these changes. New characters will be created — some of which may seem more solid and interesting than the old, simply because you gain more experience in character design and development the more that you do it. But that doesn’t mean that the old characters aren’t as good or should be discarded!
I use to freak out when I discovered that some of my main character, Ben, was often the most difficult and distant character to feel and understand. I had it in my head that if he wasn’t feeding me a direct dialogue whenever I attempted to write for him, that it meant I had fallen out of touch with him and gone through a relationship lapse. Over time, I’ve found that’s not always the case…
Though this character still means a lot to me, Ben tends to be more of a casual character relationship as time has passed. He’s resolved a number of issues in his life and overcome a lot of the initial struggles that I designed for him long ago. Due to this, he’s taken on a different roll in my world, one that spends less time in the spotlight and fighting with internal struggles… and more of a supporting role for the newer cast that find themselves in a position to benefit from his experience and wisdom.
As an Author, I had to accept that this was his chosen path of development… and learn to back off and let the change happen. I became more content when I realized that his relationship has grown to a point where we don’t need to have that constant back and forth to be reassured Author and creation are still in tune. I know that whenever I need to write for him, Ben will respond in his own unique way and the emotional connection that I need will come.
Thought 3: Be Open
When characters share their life story events, it will be on their own terms. This can happen in the normal course of writing, but just as often when you’re not expecting it. I find a lot of my character revelations come when I’m doing mindless things like driving, showering or washing dishes. I know that I’m not the only one that gets these strange bouts of information either, as is proof on the forum thread started about this topic.
The random information a character will offer you may be an important scene in their life. It may be an emotion or personality trait that you didn’t know existed. A new quirk that you just ran across. Or something completely random and silly. But always be open to it even if it may not seem ground-breaking… because they are entrusting you with just a little bit more about themselves. It’s one more shade of personality that helps you to understand them. One more thing that makes them more real.
And if you’re open to even the most trivial seeming aspects, then you’ll find that you’ll slowly be trusted to learn more.
Thought 4: Be Rested
It should go without saying that if you’re struggling with a bout of creative burnout, it’s not very likely that your character is going to be sharing much with you. You’re frustrated. You’re tired. You’re uninspired. You think your work is a piece of junk. And that mindset isn’t going to foster connections beyond anger and angst to offer you anything deep and creative.
Don’t ever force things on your character when you’re dragging and burned out. It’s the worst possible time for both yourself and your creations and you’ll run the risk of doing things that could destroy a hard-earned relationship. It’s far better to step away from things and do something else for a while… something that will refill the dried-up well of inspiration. Don’t let a passing block or burnout tear down everything you’ve built.
Thought 5: Be Gentle
R-E-S-P-E-C-T… Okay. Now I’m quoting old songs. But it’s such an important thing in any relationship, even with your own creations. When you start overstepping your proper boundaries, as Authors can do, you begin to dissolve some of the trust that a character has in you.
A certain amount of struggle and strife is important to help a character grow and develop. But there comes a point where an Author has obviously lost all respect for their character’s rights as a living being. They abuse. They demean. They completely humiliate all because they simply can get away with it. Afterall, it’s their character, right?
Eventually, the readers will stop responding with sympathy… and maybe even lose interest in your story and characters all together. It becomes tiresome when there’s nothing but abuse after abuse after abuse in a character’s life. There is such a thing as too much. Such a thing as breaking a character’s spirit down. At that point, the character has become a plot device for malicious treatment more than a real character.
At that point, you have no relationship left.
Be gentle… listen to your character’s hopes, wishes and dreams. Don’t grant them everything, of course. Don’t save them from every darkness in the world, either. Allow them to struggle and grow, but know when enough is enough. Each character will have a different threshold of this for you to discover. Don’t be afraid to test it, but recognize the signs of when it’s time to give them a break.
It’s all about finding balance and understanding. The more you work with that character, the more you will know. And if you are open and gentle with them, you will find a relationship starting to grow.
Want More?
Check out the full Character Development Series!
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10 Comments on Character Development — How to Build a Relationship With Your Character
KJ sez:
I can vouch for the R-E-S-P-E-C-T remark. One of my main figments, Joi, has really stomped down her foot about a couple of my intended plot points, and after years of arguing I’ve just had to let it go. From the very first comic pages I drew in a purple Steno-Pad, she was supposed to go on and fall in love with Telion, and they would get married and all would be happy. Except the more I got to know her, the less she liked that plan. Finally she said (I’m not sure when) “KJ, I’m not marrying him.”
And I said, “But you have to. That’s the happy ending. I even know what your kids are like.”
And she said, “Write a new ending.”
And I said, “But the whole point of the story is about Twooo Wuuv!”
And she said, with a funny look on her face, “Then make the story about something else.” (I have.)
But I still said, “Why won’t you marry him? He loves you! You love him!”
And she looked very sad for a moment and sad, “About that.”
Finally she laid it all out for me. Joi is a very simple soul who really just wants a simple life. She suffered more at the hands of the Kotheran court and royal life than she had ever imagined before, and she has no reason to want to repeat the experience as Telion’s Queen. Moreover, while he certainly loves her, her feelings regarding him are more ambivalent. She did have some feelings for Patch, who was a supportive friend during the rough times, and once expressed the wish for a life with him– only to have him turn out to be Telion, the cause of the rough times. It was very hard for her, and she won’t let me downplay that.
I still tried to make things work out… like when she explained that Telion was too weak of a man, I spun out a whole second story involving his power struggle with Max after the events of KoH. (KoH is about coming to terms with the past… the next is about facing the future, I suppose.) And I asked her if she would marry him then, and she said no. Then I let her go leave the story for a while, looking for some answers of her own, in hopes that the problem would be fixed when she returned. Nope! She didn’t want to return!
Their lives are still going on, intersecting and intertwining, but never yet joining. Over time I’ve had to come to terms with this: Joi’s feelings towards Telion are not what I intended them to be. All of my efforts to force a change in her have resulted in a totally dead character. All of the little schemes I’ve pulled have only been met with frustration (mine, hers, AND Telion’s.) Eventually I’ve just let go. And while I’m still hoping… I’ve seen stronger and better characters develop (not just her) by not forcing my ideas upon them.
I have another example, but I’ve already rambled.
Wow, KJ! That’s a really revealing figment story. Thanks for sharing… and feel free to ramble more if you want! I always love to listen to character development stories… it makes me feel like I’m not alone as an Author to crazy figments!
You know, I didn’t realize that was the direction you were trying to move Joi and Telion, even in all the time that I had been following KoH. Maybe it’s because I agree with Joi — though I could see the two of them being good friends, I don’t know that I could imagine them being romantically involved. I really can’t tell you why — because I think they’re cute together when I see them interact.
It’s cool that you listened to Joi about these things… because, I think I mentioned it in my last post, nothing makes figments more bitter than forced romantic relationships. Those fall flat fast. And the reader can smell Author-only-formulated romance a mile away.
I’m actually having a bit of trouble with certain aspects of Zemi and AsaHi’s relationship in current day Wayrift. But that… is a long story… and I’m not sure where that’s going to end up for them. *sigh* It’s funny how things aren’t always peachy even when figments get what they seem to want the most in the end.
I find it interesting, if not amusing, that KJ has Joi and Telion, who were planned to be with each other until Joi said “no” and threw her author’s plans out of the window (even though Telion has romantic feelings for Joi), and I have Kalle and Darianne, who were never meant to be more than just friends (despite the fact Darianne secretly had feelings for Kalle) until Kalle said “no” too and clung like the lovesick puppy he is.
Lesson of the story: I’m keeping my distances from my figments’ love lives. Even though Ludwig’s makes me want to beat him up.
You guys don’t WANT to know the drama that was Tai and Zazo.
Heh… I feel sorry for Zazo sometimes. She wanted to be luved so badly… and Tai is so anti-mush. In fact, he refused to be known as a “boy friend” when he was first going steady with her because he felt like that conformed too much to society’s expected standards… and he wanted to be free of anything that would fetter what he defined as a “real” and “free” relationship.
I think Tai will always have a fear of confinement after everything he lived through. But Zazo’s done a lot to help him deal with that skittishness in a committed relationship setting. She also knows just how to stroke his ego, even if she means it when she tells him that he’s the best.
Don’t want to know? I disagree. xD
You’ll be sick of hearing about it when it finally happens in Wayrift. :p
KJ sez:
Y’know, now that we’re speaking of figments in luuuv, I got a–
Hold on. There are forums for a reason!
Wait… wait.. hold on until tomorrow! I’ve got a romance topic that’s spun off of this conversation sitting in the wings! XD
Ooooh. I’ll grab the popcorn.
Character Development — Writing Realistic Relationships — Wayfarer Wings sez:
[...] characters must approve… or disapprove. Going back to the importance of respecting your characters’ wishes, nothing is more cardboard than when an Author forces a relationship simply to please readers or [...]